Things fall apart

 

Turning and turning in the widening gyre

The falcon cannot hear the falconer;

Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;

Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,

The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere

The ceremony of innocence is drowned;

The best lack all conviction, while the worst

Are full of passionate intensity.

Surely some revelation is at hand;

Surely the Second Coming is at hand.

The Second Coming!

William Butler Yeats, “The Second Coming”

Photo by Nitish Meena on Unsplash

Tuesday Ten - deep dark secrets

It’s Election Day 2024, so consider this your warm-up for the horrors that the ballot counting will no doubt unleash in a few hours. If you can brave my dreadful secrets, you will be able to withstand Decision 2024. 

Be strong, my friend. Be strong.

And what is the internet for if not for oversharing?

I did vote, but depending on your perspective, whom I have ever voted for may deserve to be a deep dark secret.

1. I don’t recycle. Our town stopped picking it up curbside and I don’t collect it to drive it somewhere.

Photo by Julio Lopez on Unsplash

2. I really like peeing in the shower.

Photo by Abigail Lynn on Unsplash

3. I don’t sort my laundry—by color, weight, garment, anything.

Photo by engin akyurt on Unsplash

4. I wear shoes inside my house because if I don’t, I get crumbs stuck to my feet. I brush off my feet before I get in bed.

Photo by Tracey Hocking on Unsplash

5. I don’t always brush my teeth twice a day.

Photo by Superkitina on Unsplash

6. My kids don’t make their beds, and it’s been years and years since I required it.

Photo by Nicole Bomar on Unsplash

7. Washing their hands afterwards wasn’t part of my kids’ potty training. If the waste ended up in a better spot than the floor, their clothing, or the furniture, I called that a win. I like to think they do wash their hands now, although if they don’t…lalalalalalalalala I don’t want to know.

Photo by Matthew Tkocz on Unsplash

8. Sometimes I take naps on weekday afternoons.

Photo by Lauren Kay on Unsplash

9.  I lick the batter. More specifically and horrifyingly, I dip my pancakes in pancake batter.

Photo by Pam Menegakis on Unsplash

10. Jason and I totally eat snacks in bed.

Photo by Storiès on Unsplash

Vortices

Me, explaining to Jason that I felt depressed because he had been feeling depressed: We’re just a swirling vortex of happiness.

Ada, muttering across the room: That’s one way of describing it.

Crazy cool rainbow when I was riding with Maddie

We did finally get out of the vortex of sickness that lasted for a ridiculously long time—not even counting Jeddy’s symptoms tacked on to the end. We even finally got caught up with school. 

Thanks to Buck

So I keep busy with lessons with the kids, outside reading on my own to keep ahead of their book reports, housekeeping (such as it is), shuttling kids to soccer and Bible study and the orthodontist, tracking Ada’s complex personal schedule, and continuing to coordinate Sunday school for the elementary age children at church—some of whom are objectively delightful and others of whom have “unbridled personality,” as Ada so aptly describes them. 

Caleb, whose personality is charmingly bridled, after coming home from Halloweenfest

Playing Photosynthesis for FFN

In joy or pain

 

Ada serving at a fun church event that Liz and Caleb missed because they were home with the flu.

It’s funny that I was distressed about three consecutive weeks of kid sickness, because now that—I think, maybe—we’re seeing the end of it, it’s been five consecutive weeks since it started.

The brief but lovely interlude between Liz and Caleb’s flu and Ada’s flu

A cold/ear infection for Lizzy and Caleb [13 days] + influenza/ear infections for Lizzy and Caleb [10 days] + 2 days of false hope + influenza for Ada [10 days] = 35 days. 

The night Ada came home sick from the high school retreat

Celebrating Lizzy’s birthday…Ada hadn’t moved from the couch in a while by this point

Jason and I got flu shots in the middle of it all and he was down for a day with either side effects from the vaccine or a battle with the actual bug living in our house. 

I haven’t gotten any of it, confoundingly, but I have been living with varying levels of pain in my hip and other assorted body parts. 

I finally decided I preferred not to live in constant pain, and I ultimately got a health provider willing to see me (when I called my normal doctor saying IT HURTS RIGHT NOW, their earliest “same day appointment” was three weeks out [?!]).

After a full week Ada was able to vary her routine by lying down outside for a while instead of inside. She even helped Lizzy with her math. She had to nap the rest of the day to recover from the exertion, though.

The diagnosis: perimenopause. So that’s exciting.

October girls’ birthday party!

Fortunately(ish) there are supplements that she says can help. She put me on three new ones, not counting the vitamins I’m already taking. So, downside, I may need to get a bigger daily pill dispenser. And also travel with an extra duffel bag to lug all my herbal remedies around.

Making a happy birthday video to send to Ada, who was too sick to attend her own party.

Happy birthday to youuuuuu

Besides all that, she assigned me yoga (ok); 20 minutes a day wearing a weighted vest (weird); and monthly massages (ooooo).

Jason said it all sounds crunchy.

I was thinking it all sounds expensive.

Whether in life or death,

Whether in joy or pain,

I know this truth remains,

That this is the day You made.

This is the day

That the Lord has made.

We will rejoice

As we lift His name.

~ Jonny Robinson, Rich Thompson, and Tiarne Tranter, “This Is the Day”

Tuesday Ten

Ten Everyday Things Making Me Happy

1. The way Buck get so excited when I come in the school room in the morning and it looks like it’s because he wants to get out of his cage, but he leaps to the door as I open it and then stops in the opening and bows his head in relief for me to pet him.

2. When I get into the perfect cozy sleeping position on the world’s best pillow and drop off to sleep.

3. When the lunch bell rings and I discover that Yesterday Mindy made me a lunchbox all ready to go.

4. Pausing in the middle of school to pet the ever-available silky bunny on the school room rug.

5. That moment when school is done and I can go in my room and shut the door and exhale.

6. My puzzle table.

7. Drinking espresso out of a ridiculously fancy teacup like I live in Downton Abbey.

8. Jason’s new fuzzy blanket he got while I was away, which I’ve been sneaking snuggles with when he’s not using it. Seriously, does fuzzy blanket technology keep getting better, or do my fuzzies become imperceptibly less fuzzy until I’m reminded what a new one feels like?

9. Burning a nice-smelling candle every day during school.

10. My bedroom fireplace.

Liz, early and modern times

 

1 day old

2 months old

6 months old

8 months old

17 months old

22 months old

22 months old

2 years old

2 1/2 years old