Rejoicing

The pastor greeted the congregation this morning at the start of the worship service. His welcoming remarks included the observation that “some of you come this morning rejoicing; some of you come grieving.”

I looked to my right down the row. Ada wasn’t sitting with us because she was serving in children’s church. Next to me was Liz, then Caleb, then the lovely, godly young woman who is marrying my son, her diamond ring glinting in the church lighting, then Jeddy on the other side of her. And I thought, I’m in the rejoicing category.

In addition to my own mother, who champions each of her children’s marriages, and my own mother-in-law, who welcomed me into the family as warmly as you can imagine, my real model for impending mother-in-lawhood is Apolline Delacour.

The Delacours, it soon transpired, were helpful, pleasant guests. They were pleased with everything and keen to assist with the preparations for the wedding. Monsieur Delacour pronounced everything from the seating plan to the bridesmaids’ shoes “Charmant!”

~ Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Besides doing my best to be charmed with everything Jed and Maddie are planning, I do hope to get a decent rehearsal dinner together and have everyone from the groomsmen to my family appropriately dressed. 

A few weeks ago we spent a long weekend visiting with my parents, where we alternated doing school while Jason worked alongside us in the timeshare overlooking the lake, and sending the kids to do educational historical stuff with Nana and Grandpa.

My other activities this month have included such things as driving Jason to the hospital for his first colonoscopy; a procedure which resulted in an all-clear for health, which was good, and an “8 out of 10” rating for how well he did his prep, which is pretty good, but also kind of horrifying that they grade you on that. 

[I’m secretly determined to outscore him when my turn comes around.]

Preparing for tacky skate night

The day after that, I went with several other ladies from church on a children’s ministry retreat for a few days. I enjoyed their company immensely, as well as the refreshment that came from worship, teaching, and encouraging workshops.

Caleb’s playing soccer, and we’re plugging along with school—easier now that I’m not out of town on retreat. 

I also finished reading the sixth Harry Potter to Caleb, and we started the seventh one.

I spent one whole evening last week composing emails to volunteers for our upcoming Easter program. It was productive for a while, until a hugely long, painstakingly-composed email went poof into the ether, so inexplicably and thoroughly that even Jason couldn’t bring it back from oblivion. I lost my momentum after that, but I do need to get back to it at some point. 

I labor on in weakness and rejoicing.

~ CityAlight, “Yet Not I But Through Christ in Me”

Therapy

It finally happened. I knew the day would come when my kid would be on a therapist’s couch, talking about how my shortcomings have doomed him to a life of misery.

Actually, it sounds like it wasn’t quite that bad. 

Jed and Maddie apparently discussed how to deal with anger in one of their recent premarital counseling sessions, and the counselor—whom we know, who knows us, whose eyes we look into every week at church—asked them to describe how they witnessed their own parents dealing with anger.

The day of reckoning has arrived.

Surprisingly, although Jeddy could do an uncanny impression of me angry [“You would throw the books on the table and say WE ARE DONE WITH SCHOOL”], he then added that I never got angry unless he deserved it because he was being a pain. Which is very humbling and makes me give praise to God, because I know I was in sin many times, but what he remembers is his own sin.

He also did an embarrassingly accurate impression of me trying to cope with my anger when Caleb does things such as leave food on the couch—a frenzied two-handed face-rubbing that everyone, including Maddie, recognized and laughed at.

As far as I can tell, the counselor did not tell Jeddy that he is doomed to a life and marriage of misery due to maternal failure.

His mercies never come to an end;

they are new every morning;

great is Your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23

Five things I’ve got going on

 In no particular order.

1. A wedding. 

I just ordered the groomsmen’s and groom’s suits; we have a fitting party planned for April for them to try them on and hopefully get any needed alternations done.

I’ve ordered my daughters’ bridesmaid dresses and decided on my own dress.

We’re still working on rehearsal dinner catering and Jason’s clothes and shoes for everybody. We’re also helping Jed figure out how to financially leave and cleave: talking about things like a car title transfer, health insurance, his PCP, car insurance…

2. Our church Easter program, which I find myself co-directing. A friend of mine came to the recruiting table this week to sign up and led with, “I’ve never helped with this before” and I said, “neither have I, yet here we are.” I’m figuring it out as I go; so far it’s heaps easier than VBS—and with far fewer volunteer needs; in fact, much of the recruiting is already done. We still need costume makers and set decorators and live animal actors, however.

3. VBS season has more or less kicked off, in that we had our initial leadership meeting to set training dates and deadlines and to prepare to move forward.

4. Sunday school. 

We’ve almost completely decided to not do elementary Sunday school as a large group this summer, as we’ve done for years immemorial. Doing it that way gives the teachers a break, as the children’s director, her assistant and I take on the burden of preparing and teaching the lessons and the other volunteers just show up and help the kids participate. But the combination of preparing for VBS and the seeming demon possession that is affecting the staff computers tipped us toward instead recruiting new teachers to take over the regular classrooms this summer.

In the meantime, I’m officially shirking my Sunday school duties this spring by sneaking out of the children’s wing starting this Sunday, to attend a combined youth-and-parent class on Holy Sexuality. I’m looking forward to a break from my regular Sunday morning responsibilities and to hanging out with grown-ups and teenagers for a change.

5. School, of course. It is my day job, after all. 

We’re trying to work ahead because we have a visit with my parents coming up, closely followed by a retreat I’m attending for three days—and we would like to finish this school year at some point.

I’m also starting to think about next year…when Lizzy will start high school and Caleb will be in eighth grade. How many online classes should I sign them up for? What level is the appropriate level of challenge for them? And do I want to just teach high school history myself? These are the questions rolling around in my head.