It’s a good thing

He who finds a wife finds a good thing.

Proverbs 18:22

orange/apple juice toast

Let’s start at the beginning.

First they were friends for a good long while, having been in youth group together. Jed got so that he talked about her all the time: “Maddie has perfect pitch. Maddie is so smart. Maddie Maddie Maddie.”

After many months of this friendship, Jed finally asked Jason and my permission to date her. As 17-year-olds do.

Oh wait, no they don’t.

He asked for our approval before he acted.

That was the first encouraging indication that this wasn’t your average high school affair.

Jason gave provisional assent, the caveat being that Jed would need to ask her parents’ permission.

He did. Maddie’s mom likewise gave her blessing, with the understanding that they wouldn’t go off by themselves on dates unless they were in public, which they agreed to.

Jed and Maddie both serving as student leaders in youth ministry, our youth pastor strictly and bluntly charged them to not selfishly pair off at youth events but focus on welcoming others.

They’ve dated for almost 2 1/2 years now, and in that time they have kept up the conversation with us, her parents, and the aforementioned youth pastor, who knows them well. They’ve also met with several other couples from church, together and separately. They’ve spent lots of time with each other’s families. Maddie has built relationship with me. They’ve both pursued accountability on purity and welcomed counsel from their elders.

This fall, after each graduating from high school, both having jobs, having again met together and separately with the pastor, they gained his confidence in their maturity and his blessing to move ahead.

So…Jed had dinner with Maddie’s mom and stepdad, had lunch with her dad, asked for and received all of their blessings… and popped the question on Christmas Eve.

They have won over a skeptical youth pastor who has a reputation for not wanting to see his students date. They have sought and heeded advice from elders—parents and otherwise. They have prioritized their faith and ministry over their relationship. They have put real work into purity and accountability.

They also have a practical plan. Jed will have one year of school left; she’s already working full time. His lease will be up this summer, around the time they hope to get married, and she has an apartment they can move into. He has lots of college savings left, plus is likely to get financial aid once he’s married. He already has a job where he seems to have won the undying affection of his boss, who asked him to stay after a highly successful summer internship. It seems likely he has a job there with as little or many hours as he wants, indefinitely. 

In other words, I’m not worried about their martial happiness.