How to homeschool with a 2-year-old

School is going really well so far this year, despite the inherent difficulties with homeschooling in the same house as a 2-year-old and a 3-year-old.  I have several thoughts as to why this is.


1.  I'm not pregnant.


Or newly postpartum, or nursing during the day.  I've schooled through some combination of these almost the entire time.  Oy.  It's easier not to.


2.  I'm not potty training anyone.


Unless you count somewhat frequent accidents.  At least I'm not actively teaching that subject now.


3.  I am not currently administering asthma treatments, doing physical therapy on anyone besides myself, or visiting medical specialists an hour away every other week.


All challenges we have previously surmounted while schooling, but, again, easier not to.


4.  We've always homeschooled.


None of us know any different.  The younger ones don't even know what a school building is.  Everyone fully expects this is what we do every day.


5.  One kid knows the drill and is responsible and loving and (generally) helpful; another is also helpful and a naturally eager scholar; another enjoys school and plays reasonably responsibly


... and there's only one 2-year-old.


6.  The oldest child is only in 4th grade.


As in, I still mostly understand the subject material, and we're not scheduling SATs.

It's actually much easier to homeschool (and live) with a two-year-old than an 18-month-old, or even a 12-month-old who's pulling lamps and mirrors over on himself.


The internet is rife with ideas on how to homeschool with a toddler.  Here are some that don't work for me.


1.  Snacks.


I know, right?  What a meanie.  But inhaling a snack only takes so long, and then we've ruined the kid's lunch to save 5 minutes, which means he's going to spend lunchtime throwing his food and pouring his milk overboard.


Also, if you give the 2-year-old a snack, you have to give the 3-year-old a snack, and then the bigger kids whine that it's not fair and they're starving too (though breakfast hasn't been put away yet), and by the time you've spent 10 minutes divvying out perfectly even servings of Cheerios, someone is throwing them, another is stepping on them, and another is smearing drooly Cheerio mush on his science report.


If it works for you, do it.  It doesn't work for me.


2.  Separate meals.


The logic here is that you have some kids eating while others are doing their schoolwork, or you have all the kids eating while Mom reads aloud so everyone is constructively occupied.


When does Mom eat?


3.  Have the toddler do seated "school work."


I fully support this idea.  I think it's adorable when it happens.  It has worked for me in the past, say, when my toddlers were girls.  My boy toddler isn't so into the "seated" part.


4.  Let the littles all go off and play together.


Caleb doesn't do well under Lizzy's supervision.


5.  Do school during naptime.  


Oh, what popular advice this is!  Save schoolwork for naptime.  Or wait until Daddy's home to help with the other kids.  Or get up earlier than the toddlers (!) and do school then.  Or do school at midnight!  Why not?


This doesn't work for us.  We have far more schoolwork than we could get done during naptime; I'm worn out by after lunch; the kids' brains are no longer fresh; and we all feel much better getting going and getting our work done.


Besides, some of us need some alone time after a long morning with many children, and we juuuust might snap without it.


6.  Tot School.


That site and the lady who writes it are amazing.  I totally want to be like her.  I want my homeschool to be that awesome.  I want a fraction of her patience.  She has super fun, creative ideas for toddlers to do (plus pictures of beautiful, smiling children doing them), all with household and dollar store items.


The theory is, you create a bunch of Tot Trays, or busy bags, or any manner of fascinating, fine-motor-skill-developing, delightful self-contained activities for your tot to do during school time, and you have a limited set of them available, or you have one ready to pull out for him... and your home is filled with wonder, awe and serenity, forever and ever, amen.


I dabbled in tot school ideas once.  After poring over that site and others like it, I gathered household items and showed my tot how to do something delightful and unexpected with them.... and the other kids promptly gave up their schoolwork to play with the novelty, while the baby wandered off to eat dust bunnies.


It's even worse if you invest a lot of effort making something truly educationally wondrous, and your tot shows no interest, and it serves only as a distraction for your students.


{To be fair, I think the idea of Tot School is more to give your tot enriching one-on-one time with Mom during the school day, not to occupy them independently while you help the older ones.}


7.  Do school while the tot is in a bath.


Set your tot up in the tub with water, toys, maybe some semi-organic colored goo, and then sit nearby and do school.


Like all these ideas, it's a good one, and it would work in a different season, with different children.  But I'd have to put two kids in the tub, and the others would be distracted by the novelty and noise and copious splashing.  The bathroom would likely be flooded before the math lesson was done.


8.  Affix him to a corner with giant magnets.


Actually, this probably would work.  But it must have some drawback I'm not thinking of right now...


9.  Wear the baby.


Use a sling or carrier of some sort.  Baby get the snuggles he needs while mom gets the arms she needs.  The problems are a) this mom has a weak back, and b) Caleb has long, grabby arms that aren't enclosed by the sling.


10.  Just blow off school because your kids are only young once, this time with your little one is so fleeting, hugs are more important than to-do lists, and your older ones learn so much from life anyway.


This does not mesh with my schooling philosophy.


Obviously there's a balance here, but school has to get done.  Especially if you keep having babies... each of them is only young for a short time, but the cumulation of all that babyhood adds up to some serious educational gaps for the olders.  The littles have valid needs including hugs, and the olders have valid needs including multiplication tables.  Neither one can be jettisoned.


11.  Finger paint, play-doh, unlimited markers, or anything involving tiny dry beans or glue.


My heart palpitated just writing that stuff out.


As stated before, some moms are awesome.


I am not that mom.


But wait!  Isn't this post titled "How to homeschool with a 2-year-old"?  So far I'm only demoralized because I'm homeschooling my 8th-grader for the first time and I'm pregnant, nursing, potty training, dealing with medical crises, and have 2-year-old quintuplets!


{Or, alternately, I'm offended because I homeschool all day with my tots in the tub, in my sling, eating a snack, glueing beans, magnetically affixed to the wall, and napping, and it works great for us!


I'm very glad.  These ideas are all great.  Especially #8.  But what works in one situation mysteriously spells disaster for another combination of kids in another season.  Please continue on with your successful routine.}


Note that this post is about homeschooling with A 2-year-old.  So if you do have 2-year-old quintuplets, I have no credentials to advise you.  But before you lock yourself in a room with a Nerf gun and one foam bullet, may you find help here.


Ideas that are currently helpful for us:


1.  A good school tracker.


This is kind of cheating because not everyone has a generous geeky husband who can custom-make an app to track progress in each subject.  But it's very helpful.  No more doing the math in April and realizing we're 20 lessons behind schedule.  Now I know if it's better to take a time-out for a little one during the Latin lesson or during the history lesson.


2.  A nearly-OCD schedule.


Some people find loosey-goosey helpful.  We Type A's find solace in knowing if we just follow what's printed on the schedule, everything will get done.  Not like the schedule isn't interrupted, but I can just check the time and resume auto-pilot.  It helps to have the details already spelled out when your brain is stretched like butter over too much bread.


3.  Make a meal schedule.  


Yes, technically this is homemaking, not homeschooling, but chaos in one part of the brain tends to spill over.  I'll write more on this another time, but it's so helpful to go on auto-pilot with meals too.  I don't have to get distracted wondering if I should find some meat to thaw.


4.  Make sure everyone has clean-up chores.  


2-year-old quintuplets won't be very helpful here, but that 8th grader can and should pull a lot of weight.

Everyone at our house aged 3 and up is expected to clean up toys in the evening, which means the school area is clear in the morning.


One kid is responsible for clearing the table after every meal and hand-washing any pots and pans.


Another kid is responsible for loading and unloading the dishwasher after each meal.


Various children are responsible for washing off the table and counters and sweeping the area.


I realize this makes my house sound like a well-run army camp, and in reality, this stuff doesn't always get done, especially by school time.  But it certainly shouldn't be all Mom's job.  Besides cleaning up the toddler and putting away food, I need to be getting school ready to start.  They can clean up breakfast or lunch while I do that.


5.  Gather all the toddler's favorite quiet toys and set them out.  


Painful though it is, give up your fantasy of a nice house.  You will pull out less of your hair if you gather the tot's favorite quiet(ish) toys and set them out in a nearby but out-of-the-way place, and make sure they're accessible by him.


At our house this means plastic boxes on the floor of our entryway filled with every toy car, truck, train and track we own, and Little People and their houses.

(It's gorgeous.)


6.  Keep the school cabinet constantly closed and locked.


Take out a book, close the door back up.  Drawers?  Install childproof locks.  Convenient?  Not in the least.  But imperative.


7.  Keep a collection of old coloring books, crummy crayons, and unused school printouts in a nearby box.


This way if the mood strikes, he has something to scribble on that looks remotely like what the older ones are doing.  I even keep the crummy crayons in a similar box to the students' supply boxes.


8.  If another child (like a 3-year-old) is not doing school, she may use coloring supplies, markers, or other requested toys in her room with the door closed.


In an ideal world, Lizzy could color with markers near us while we work.  But it's not worth the fight to keep Caleb out of it while I'm trying to concentrate on something else.


9.  Put out a box of toddler-friendly books nearby.


By that I mean books he has to work harder to rip.  We have a box of board books on the couch nearest our work area.  He will occasionally sit on the couch and pull them all out and look at them.


10.  Get used to using a loud voice.


If no one's in dire need of intervention, raise your voice and teach over it.


11.  Get used to holding your toddler a lot.


Well, you probably already are used to that.  But get used to teaching while holding him.  Sometimes we just need to snuggle with Mama.


12.  If you have two little ones, get used to teaching with both of them on your lap, one on each leg.


Sorry, quinto-moms.  No advice.


13.  Let your tot share the math manipulatives.  


Look out for choking and throwing and all that.


14.  Sit him on your lap for read-alouds.


Hopefully there are pictures and he likes being included.


15.  Include him in chants, recitations, science experiments, etc.


Toddlers can learn to chant repetitive answers with their siblings.  Asking them all the same question one at a time helps the older ones remember it, and amuses everyone.


For example, Caleb knows the answer to Question #1 of the Children's Catechism because I went around and asked everyone, "Who made you?"  Caleb can give the correct answer:  "God."  (He is stuck on Answer #1 though, giving it for every question so far.  But he learned one at least.)


If everyone is doing a science experiment not involving fire, let the tot have a turn.  Pose him as the audience and help him cheer when someone recites a poem aloud.  Involve him in the lesson when possible.


16.  Let him tag along for preschool.


This kind of makes me insane because preschool involves more interesting things than elementary school and it's hard for Caleb to contain his enthusiasm.  Last time I told Caleb he could play Hi Ho Cherry-O with us if he could control himself, but he immediately started grabbing all Lizzy's little cherries and she cried, "Mommy!  He's not controlling himself!!"


But while Lizzy writes letters (single letters, not compositions), he can scribble next to her on an identical paper.  I can draw him a choo-choo to color on while she fills in the wheels on her train.  He can listen too while I read, and dance while we sing the alphabet.


If nothing else, he's usually happy to go in a different room for a little while, where we do preschool.


17.  Keep all the doors closed.


My house does kind of become a bat cave, but I know where he is and that he's not in the bathroom or his sister's hair bow collection.


18.  Let him scribble on the whiteboard.


Keep a sharp eye on the markers and confiscate swiftly if he leaves the immediate vicinity of the whiteboard.


19.  Take Zoloft.


Just kidding!  But seriously.


20.  Send him downstairs to play with Lizzy in the basement playroom.


Caleb just passed the tipping point where he gets himself down a flight of stairs on his feet or bottom, and in a controlled manner--as opposed to cartwheeling, somersaulting, or otherwise bouncing down on his head--enough of the time that I let him do it unaccompanied.  Going down with Lizzy is somewhat worse than unaccompanied, but to buy a few minutes, I let them go.  They're plenty noisy enough that I know what they're doing, and it never lasts long anyway.


21.  If all else fails, strap him in his high chair for a bit (without snacks).


He may scream for a few seconds but at least I can get through a lesson with two hands, which is sometimes necessary.  Once he realizes he's stuck there, he usually settles down to wait it out.  This works better if I don't make eye contact.  If I talk to him, he recommences yelling for freedom.


22.  Breathe a sigh of relief at naptime.


We have most of school done by then, but it's much easier on everyone to finish up when the littles are already down.


A few more thoughts...

When we first started this school year, even the little kids were all lined up at the bar because they were investigating this new phenomenon.  Caleb especially seemed to feel a mixture of curiosity and panic.  What is Mommy doing??  Once you're settled into a school routine and tots know what to expect at school time, they will relax and be happier to play nearby.


Count on having many interruptions to wipe butts, pick someone up who fell off the back of the couch, "Fix it!" to any number of things, save your toddler from himself, thwart covert destructive plans, and change pee pants.  Remember the school year is long, the days are many, and homeschool kids move through material quickly.  There's flexibility to catch up by trading subjects around if need be.


I don't think anyone has put it better than Confessions of a Homeschooler when it comes to the value of  having challenging little people around.


Take as many pictures as you can of the sweet cuddly moments, so you can be the lady who looks back on these days with misty-eyed fondness and tells new moms it doesn't get any better than this.

Actually, don't be that lady.


But do take pictures, and know that you are giving your kids the chance to grow up together and be close, sharing a big part of their lives together, as well as learning to love those weaker, clumsier, and less convenient than themselves.


Plus, little ones adore and admire the big ones and learn super fast from them, picking up everything from ABCs to the fall of Rome when you least expect it.


And how would God mold your heart if life was easy?

Since I started working on this post, Caleb has occupied himself during school by:

-Throwing crayons all around the room
-Soaking papers in the kitchen sink
-Coloring on Ada's math book with orange marker
-Insisting that it's "my turn!" to practice piano
-Pouring a cup of water onto the counter
-Tearing my newspaper that I hadn't yet read into little bits
-Bashing dents in the dining room table with a metal napkin holder

So take my advice at your own risk.  It will not be easy.  

But I'm still really glad I homeschool.