1. I feel like a real grown-up now.
Maybe it was spending a whole weekend in the time-honored role of Parent of the Groom: Generation That Makes Way for New Generation. Maybe it was the immense pride in hearing my little boy described not just as a man, but as an exceptionally godly man. But somehow it feels like the last task of adulthood: successfully and fully launching another new adult, has been accomplished.
2. The loss comes later.
Maddie’s stepdad quoted, “You’re not losing a son, you’re gaining a daughter,” and at the moment it described how I’ve always felt about the addition of Maddie to our life. We raised our glasses and sent them off to their honeymoon with joy—and the sense of loss hit me the very evening they got back, when they joined us for a family dinner at Grandma’s house and left before we did. And on Sunday they arrived at church together, sat together, and left together, and had no need to spend the afternoon at our house in order to be together; they can be together much better at their own house now.
It’s not unexpected; several weeks ago Jason asked me how I thought life would change after the wedding and I said I expected we would see them less (Jason said he expected many more insurance questions; we’re both right).
It’s good and healthy and expected, which is perhaps why the delayed sense of loss surprised me.
Or maybe a day so brimming with joy simply left no room at all for sadness.
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