This isn't as easy as it looks

This morning Lizzy excused herself in the middle of breakfast to go potty and a minute later called out, "Why is there a tick in the bathroom?"


Ada calmly said, "It probably fell off your dress."


Meanwhile, I was squealing, "A tick?!!"


Lizzy came out pinching a single *Kix* between her fingers and dropped it in her cereal bowl.


Kix. 


K's are hard to say when you're four.  And the singular of "Kix" is "Kick."

The world is a scary place.  I don't look at fields of wildflowers the same anymore. 


My mommy is no longer here to take care of me, and I have responsibilities to fulfill and kids depending on me.


We've been out of school for longer than we've ever taken off since Jeddy was three, and school is slated to start up again in a week and a half.  I'm teaching fifth grade for the first time, as well as second grade, and I have two preschoolers.


I have a new house I'm still getting used to and want very much to keep up with.


I'm not sure if I'll ever have completely normal sensation in my fingers again.  I can't run like I used to.  My shoulders don't work as before and I don't know if they'll heal.


For over a month I did nothing but lie on the couch.  People prepared food and served it to me.  People cared completely for my kids.  People did my laundry and cleaned my house.  People drove me around when I went places.  People pushed my wheelchair.  My only job was to endure headaches and neck pain.

Now the help has gone home, my children's faces are turned expectantly to me, the freezer is emptying out, school is about to start, and the doctor is pushing me to exercise harder.


I understand Lyme can manifest in symptoms of depression and extreme anxiety.  But as my physical health has improved, my anxiety level has crept up.


Will I suddenly lose my health again?


Will I be able to successfully homeschool?


Will I fully heal?


Am I equal to the tasks set before me?

Thank God His grace is enough--in sickness and in health, in success and shortcoming, in confidence and in doubt.