Perspective check

Caleb has been especially difficult recently.  He's so two.


He resists being picked up by turning his body into that of an eel, except with kicking legs, and slithers through your grasp until you realize you're holding him around the neck.


He knows when it's time to get dressed, go potty, or get in the high chair, and he shoots me a "catch me if you can" smirk and zips off running to the farthest corner of the house.


He screams for food and when you give him the exact food he asked for, he throws it with a NO! and then dissolves into tears.


He begs for massive quantities of food that gives him diarrhea.


He refuses to point it down and pees clear across the bathroom every time.


He steals markers and colors on his sister's art project.


He steals scissors and cuts a belly button hole in his new shirt.


He walks on other people's dining room tables when they're gracious enough to have us over.


He flings food, Legos, crayons, books, toys, and occasionally himself.


He's determined to stuff something, anything, in the toilet.


He fishes around in trash cans.


He races me to the door to escape when I put him to sleep.


He steals pot holders and takes off running with them.


He's figured out how (and when) to say "Lizzy did it."


Adding to the difficulty of controlling him is the (I think) pinched nerve in my hip, so, especially now, he can pretty much run circles around me.


We start school next week.


I feel anxious about this.


I brilliantly figured out how to schedule all the kids' subjects so they're each working independently while I'm working with another kid, and we have other times scheduled for the together subjects.


I've got piano lessons lined up, I've got my Latin pronunciation guide, I've got books starting to accumulate on my own personal "holds" shelf behind the desk at the library.   I have lists of subjects, lists of books, lists of supplies, lists of lessons.  I have this week set aside for teacher work days.


But I also have Caleb:  Toddler Extraordinaire.

Also we have a wedding coming up.

So does this mean I have to rely on Jesus??


I have a situation coming up in which I will notice my lack of patience and mental resources?  This school year spells certain death.


Death to the comfortable idea that I am independently competent and capable.


Death to the mirage that I'm such a naturally nice person.


Death to my grip of control.


Death to self.


I really don't like being inconvenienced by any of my children.  I'd much rather forge ahead with grammar rules and fascinating literature than deal with any of that irksome heart stuff.


I used to assume The Baby IS the Lesson by Diane Hopkins was an article encouraging homeschoolers to give extra anatomy or human development lessons when they had this most appropriate visual aid in the house.  But it's actually about how your response to the inevitable interruptions from the littlest among you is the most profound lesson your older children will learn in their homeschool.  Are they learning that the little one is a frustrating irritation or a precious little person in need of our love?


In other words, people are more important than grammar rules, howsoever beautifully tidy and refreshingly logical the grammar may be.


"Pilate...took water and washed his hands...saying, 'I am innocent of this Man's blood; see to that yourselves.'  And all the people said, 'His blood shall be on us and on our children!'"                

-Matthew 27:24-25

What the ignorant crowd cried in horrendous foolishness, I plead today in desperate faith:  Let His blood be on us and on our children.  Let it be on me when I react with frustration.  Let it be on my toddler when he defies rightful authority.  Let it be on my children when they're not particularly interested in doing school.  Cover us, Jesus, and help us to trust You. 

May I homeschool with excellence where possible, and even more, glorify Him by patiently tending the littlest of His image-bearers.