The chiropractor had me wait in a new room today, this one with scary instruments in it. One I'm quite sure was a taser. In the other corner was a jar of Barbicide. Under what circumstances would my chiropractor perform a haircut?
He touched none of the scary instruments during my appointment. Instead, he cracked significantly fewer vertebrae this time and wanted me to tell him more about the occasional dizziness that I had marked on my intake form.
Unconvinced that stress is the fullest explanation possible for my vertigo, he had me perform a test in which I stood in the middle of the room, raised my hands out in front of me, closed my eyes, and did thirty high-knee stomps. I failed the test because when I opened my eyes after thirty stomps, I had rotated to my right. He explained that this indicates I have a problem with part of my brain.
Well, we all knew that.
He also shoved me from different sides to see if I could maintain balance--which I couldn't.
He assigned me certain tasks to exercise my cerebellum, one of which is to look at my index finger at arm's length in front of me, and watch it as I bring it to touch my nose--in and out, in and out.
Another is to sit in an office chair while a responsible person steadily turns me clockwise. After this, I'm supposed to redo the stomping test.
I thought I heard giggling behind his clipboard when he wrote all this out for me and I'm pretty sure I heard guffaws and saw him wiping away tears of mirth when I exited the office.
Nevertheless, I will dutifully perform my homework and hope the guy didn't hang those diplomas on the wall just so he could laugh at earnest people doing ridiculous things.
First day of school tomorrow. I think all the preparations are complete. Including, importantly, childproofing locks on the low drawers of the school cabinet.
In a spirit of hypocrisy, here are pictures of Caleb earnestly trying to open the newly locked drawers.
May the locks hold and our ridiculousness be fruitful.
Wow, all those tests make me dizzy just hearing about them! I hope they help. Caleb looks like he has met his match with these locks. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThat's some waiting room. Maybe he shares it with somebody else? As for the first stomping test, these are needed when he makes your diagnosis. The tests after that were to test or affirm his observation. Now, let's hope this homework of yours would be the key in helping you get rid of your vertigo. Speaking of homeworks, Caleb will do his figuring out your shiny new locks. Haha! Well, let's hope your exercises does help you. Take care!
ReplyDeleteDerek Sparks @ Forgey Chiropractic