School starts tomorrow.
The usual feelings of nervousness are starting to wash over me: the fear of failure that could happen in various forms. Not properly teaching them academics is only one, and not the most likely, concern.
I'm spiritually and physically weak. No one loves them like their mother, it is true, but their mother is impatient and frequently selfish. Their mother succumbs to a nap every day at 2:00. Their mother lacks wisdom.
The kids themselves are a hot mess. Put the four of them together and it results in strife, whining, tattling, and a very high level of noise. They don't put things back where they found them, regardless of how much time I spent precision-organizing the room. They complain about everything. They struggle to understand their lessons. They get bored, frustrated, discouraged.
But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God... the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.
In other words, I can't plunge into another school year on my own. I need to trust God for this, too. I need peace, gentleness, reason, and mercy. I need wisdom from above. I need what only God can give me, and I need the faith to remember that.
By His grace, this year together will be one of living, loving, bearing with and forgiving one another. We will see more of His goodness than we did before. We will enjoy His steadfast love. We will see that there's grace for Mom, and there's grace for kids.
And bonus if we also learn to read.
James 1:5, 3:17
No comments:
Post a Comment