Tennessee y'all

Jason and I celebrated 16 years by heading to Gatlinburg, TN.  On the way we stopped for lunch at a tea shop, which turned out to be much more frou-frou than Google Maps let on.

It was delicious, though.

Was I thrilled to finally arrive in our brand-new, 2400-square-foot luxury cabin rental for a week of relaxation with my boo, get all our supplies stocked away, and heat up a very fine frozen dinner while pouring a glass of wine?

Yes.  Yes I was.

We spent the Actual Night at Dolly Parton's Staaaaaaampede!

The pre-show: Mountain Ruckus, a great bluegrass band name if ever there was one.

The emcee for the evening's entertainment/competition.  

We were on the South side [that's the blue team].  We had to choose sides when we bought the tickets.  Jason's a southerner, born and bred, but I'm a Yankee, so I was very stressed about which side we should choose.  Jason settled on South since that was the home team.  We didn't want to end up on the wrong side of any civil animosity.  

In between cheering our side and jeering at the Yankees, we tucked into our roast chicken dinner and watched stunts like this guy riding a pair of horses around, over, and through fire.

The riders also changed out of their team colors in between races for a little peaceable equestrian square dancing.

Another night we spent at Ole Red, a restaurant/concert venue with, inexplicably, a tractor stuck upside-down to the ceiling.

Because....Tennessee?

We had no shortage of fun in our own house, though.  We spent Sunday watching football at our very own private sports bar with everything cozy.

Some days we just stayed inside and watched the snow fall.

The last day we gathered our courage, bundled up thick, and headed downtown to walk the strip.  Such an endeavor required first tanking up at Crockett's Breakfast Camp.

These were the most amazing pancakes ever.  I started by ordered a stack of three.  The waiter said, "Have you seen them?"  I said, "OK, two."  I more or less got a birthday cake without the icing.

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Sooooo good 

After a while we took refuge from the cold in Ripley's Aquarium, which turned out to be far classier than anything with the Ripley's name has a right to be.

Very cool shark tunnel.

Horrible, nightmarish creatures...some sort of Japanese crabs.  They were the size of golden retrievers.  Without the furry appeal, though.  Definitely makes you rethink ever swimming in the ocean.

Good job, Nelson!  Shame on you, Peter Penguin.

After our fill of sharks and stingrays and jellyfish and penguins, we spent the afternoon tasting moonshine.

Who knew a) there were so many flavors, or b) that they could taste so good?

I love this guy.

I hand it to you, Gatlinburg.  You do moonshine well.  And ceiling tractors.  And penguins.  And bluegrass and luxury cabins and dancing horses.  I tip my cowboy hat and click my new boots to you.