The Bible verse I may start believing

Last post I alluded to two projects I need to complete this holiday break.  Hooray, one of them has been completed!  I'm in charge of planning a February field trip for our homeschool support group, and yesterday I completed the booking and sent out the information sheet to the group.


This was a) complicated, because it involved coming up with a place to go, contacting the place for information on student groups, arranging a date and time and focus of the tour, and collecting details on such things as parking and age limits; and b) intimidating, because we're new to this group and we've never been on a field trip with them, so I don't really know how things are usually done, and I don't want to be 'that new woman who planned that lame field trip.'


We joined the group just this year, mainly for social reasons (for me, not the kids; my kids have plenty of friends).  The first event I attended was the kick-off picnic in September.


Driving to a picnic where there will be tons of people, none of whom I know (but who all know each other), where I am hoping to join the group and make new friends...... is a situation that tends to produce anxiety in me, to say the least.


I've wrestled with anxiety all my life, so I've spent much time searching for biblical antidotes for worry.  Here is a verse that has often frustrated me:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

-Philippians 4:6-7

I have always interpreted that verse to mean, as I'm driving to a worrisome party, "God, I'm nervous.  Let them be nice to me.  Take away my anxiety."  And then, presto, peace of God!

Then, when I don't feel guarded from anxiety, I wonder if I'm not pleading hard enough or explaining the situation specifically enough.

Recently, though, God dropped some scale from my eyes and I noticed the word thanksgiving.

If I noticed that word before, it was to assume it meant:  Supplicate now; thank later, when I get my request.

But suddenly I realized the thanksgiving comes before the peace is given.  It's thanksgiving by faith!

So, driving to the picnic, for the first time I prayed like this:  "God, I'm anxious.  Please let them be nice to me.  [deep breath]  Thank you for this picnic.  Thank you that they're all homeschoolers so we'll have something to talk about.  Thank you that they love You too.  Thank you that I can attend this event.  Thank you that You'll be with me."

I spent the whole drive silently giving thanks by faith--somewhat at a fever pitch, as the stomach butterflies raged.

And it did something to my perspective.  It steered me away from imagining all the (admittedly non-life-threatening) things that could go wrong and reminded me that God is blessing me in this moment, and has a good purpose for this scary event.

(I realize this is somewhat irrational and ridiculous, especially since I've gotten to know this group of people and found they are the most welcoming and friendly group I've ever met.  And some people out there delight in meeting new people and being in crowded new situations.  

I don't.  New people are scary.)

Philippians 4:6-7, then, is not a formula to slay the tummy butterflies once and for all; but a much more challenging call to faith in the very moment of anxiety.  

Can I believe so confidently that God is working for my good that I can thank Him before I see it?  Thank God; "With God all things are possible" (Matthew 19:26).

Even wrestling down butterflies.