I have a plan

Not much causes me to lose sleep at night.  I enjoy sleeping too much for that.

But worrying about the education I'm providing for my kids does.

Especially when reality isn't matching up with my expectations.  

The end of the school year is fast approaching, and instead of that bringing elation, I'm panicking.

The list of lessons as yet incomplete is disproportional to the time left.  

You know, there are as many ways to homeschool as there are personalities that do it.  I'm thankful for my organizational nature that makes it so much easier to plan and execute school.  

But I'm also neurotic when I'm called on to be flexible.  

What are the benefits of homeschooling? one might ask.  High on any reasonable list will be "flexibility" and "ability to teach to each child's learning pace." 

But my plans, my beautifully laid out plans.....

Snack: the part of baseball that Caleb loves the most. 

My forte is making detailed long-range plans.

Setting aside detailed long-range plans to adjust to the actual world of reality:  not my forte. 

Especially when I thought I could recycle plans--figure it out once and multiply by four--it's discomfiting to realize that what worked for Children A and B doesn't work for Child C.  And even once I figure out Child C, none of it works for Child D.  

And so I'm bleary-eyed late into the night, trying to peer ten, fifteen years into the future and wondering how to reconcile it all.  

And this morning I'm yawning and remembering that this is the point where I need to trust God, Who planned all these things from the beginning with deliberate care for me and my children--A, B, C, and D.

You've been lost in the wind

And the rain of a storm at sea

The waves are crashing over your back

And you're crying out for Me

But as the ocean rages

I am sleeping in the boat

But I have a plan, I'm holding your hand

And I'm keeping you afloat

~Caedmon's Call, "Never Gonna Let Go"